On Saturday evening Daron (my hubby), JR (my 2 ½ year old son) and I welcomed Wellington “Wells” Reade Pope into our lives at 5.51pm. Weighing in at 8Ibs 8 ounces I am glad to say this labor was drastically shorter than my 26 hours stint with JR! Having babies is a fascinating experience.
While it is undeniably one of the most amazing things that can ever happen to a person it also comes with some of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I have just come out of perhaps the 5 hardest days of my entire life and believe me there have been some rough days in the past but these 5 days put a whole new spin on challenge, emotions, love and the complexity of being a mother to more than one child, a business woman and a wife.
Baby Wells is a calm bundle of pure joy and interestingly the easiest part of this whole thing. What has been so difficult is watching JR deal with the fact that in an instant he went from being the main focus of his mother’s attentions to having to share them with someone completely new. I know this happens every day, every minute somewhere in the world but when you have to watch your toddler’s world breakdown and you are the cause of it, it is truly a heart breaking experience.
This means I go from being on cloud nine staring into the sleeping peaceful eyes of my baby son to tears as I see my other son angry, distressed and confused that I am cuddling another baby. At the same time let’s not forget my emotions are going absolutely bonkers with hormones and oh by the way, the labor may be quicker for a second baby but one’s anatomy is doubly as screwed up (Jublies, lady town, you name it the recovery isn’t exactly quicker if you know what I mean – so much for muscle memory and yes I am doing Kegels while writing this blog post!).
Combine all of this with the fact that I have to design an entire collection in the next weeks, write my first book and be all around Jim dandy when the platoon of relatives keep ringing my door bell, has made the last five days just a tad bit rough. But here is the upside: 5 days into it and I think I am finally getting a grip!
I sat myself down last night and with the company of a large quantity of dark chocolate and the rock like nature of my husband I made a schedule. I know it sounds simple, but my lovelies I am hanging onto this schedule with all my might because it is keeping everything together!
I am learning how to split my time between my sons and be there in the moment rather than being with one and worrying about the other and I am learning to ask for help from the wonderful grandparents of the world and not feel guilty about it.
I am learning how to be the very best mother I can be and I hope the candid nature of this blog will help you or someone you know too. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.
However, let’s not sugar coat this, I am also learning how to survive on absolutely zero sleep, embracing the sweat pants that adorn my floor (yes fashion designers wear sweat pants too) and learning that sometimes there’s not even enough time to have your hair blown out!
Thank the good lord for night cream, Toy Story for toddlers and the ability to love more than one person to infinity and beyond!